i still love the scent of rain

i love john legend. check out his site!

i wish i could say this post is brought to you courtesy of the good people at McDonald’s. i was planning on tapping into their Skynet to test my wireless modem but got too lazy to get my ass out of the house tonight. friends in Melbourne, Mackers have gone 24-hours here.

i’ve finally gotten myself a new laptop. it’s been a long time coming. it isnt an iBook like i’ve been envisioning (for years). Microsoft get the better of me, convincing me that in the true interest of my academic life, i should stick to the system instead of switching to Macintosh. but i know i’ll continue pining.

what i got is an NEC Versa S940. personally i think it’s a little ugly on the outside, but i seem to be the only (ingrate) who thinks so. at 1.8GHz, 512 RAM, with a 5-in-1 card reader, DVD/CD writer, weighing in a little less than 2 kilos, all for SG$2099, what do you think? i think it couldve been cheaper. but i guess it’s alright. i’m just annoyed with the widescreen display at the moment. i know, i’m supposed to be happy with it (well, the images are prettier) but i have to edit my pictures (well, some of them) if i wanna use them as my desktop background. leceh nya!! repot!

i spent the whole day today transferring files (mostly pictures) from my old ancient laptop using my dad’s USB flash drive. I’ve got the worst history with thumb drives. i broke the first one i ever had in first year of uni. i sat on my second one, thus bending it, renderring it obsolete. (no cruel jokes eh… =P ) ridwan bought me a new one a few months ago and i thought i brought it along with me but I CANT FIND IT! honestly, i’m pretty upset about it. i really home it’s soooooomewhere at (Clayton) home.

i have yet to install Photoshop, Office, blah blah blah… i bet by then i’ll be more acquainted with my little notebook and might even love it to bits  =)  come to think of it, i’m pretty enthusiastic about this whole thing. geekishly so. i’m determined to keep my new PC clean, uncluttered, fast and functional. i was at Popular bookstore yesterday (we all have our weaknesses and mine include toiletries and stationery ok) (the other thing that comes to mind is household stuff–i know exactly what type of crockery and cutlery and utensils i want in my future kitchen… and what type of bedsheets and bathroom accessories…) where i found myself perusing through the Computers section. i picked up a couple of those "(insert your interest) For Dummies" books.

so. i was taking down notes (NERD!) when one of the salesguys tapped me on the shoulder and said,

"excuse me, no copying please."  ^%@# ?!?

i wanted to quip back that with the amount of stuff i was actually jotting down, i really wasnt breaking any copyright laws.

but then. i decided i really shouldnt be such a bitch lor. it’s not a library eh.

ok. i wanna surf the net now

December 21st 2005, Mornington Peninsula:

as the car cruised up the hill, he put one arm around her shoulders, drawing her near. his other hand was still steering the wheel. he was calm, relaxed, leaning back in his seat. she rested her head on his left shoulder, nestled it against his neck and collar bone. they had one of their special CD’s playing for the drive. sappy. but hey, sweet, right? he couldnt see her face but she was smiling.

they had just had dinner. the reknown restaurant serves fabulous Italian cuisine… and seafood. situated by the beach with a whole wall made of glass to allow the view of the sea, it was romantic alright. but no candlelight glitz schmitz. just wooden interior, bronzy waitresses, many families (and thus KIDS!) dining at other tables and robust, wholesome food. just the way they like it.

they had arrived at the pier early enough to take a walk along the beautiful beach before dining. they were content, each with an arm around the other’s waist, talking, laughing. they’ve loved each other for years but God knows they’ve fallen in love with each other over and over and over again. in each other they’ve found the best of companionship and friendship. after dinner they had walked the whole length of the jetty, amused by the anglers and their catches. they had stayed on the jetty till it got too cold. then they had gone into the car.

they had driven westwards along the beach to catch the late summer sunset. how many gorgeous sunsets have they shared? they drove past charming homes, schools, parks, shopping arcades… getting more and more smitten with the seaside suburb. there was capricious talk of moving and settling and bringing up children in such a place. and then, they pulled over in front of a majestic, old hotel–it was the final seconds of the sunset. a huge liner, dwarfed next to the huge crimson sun, was passing by as it disappeared under the horizon. the sky had a few of the marshmallow clouds she loves, made more lovely by being her favourite shade of pink at that time of dusk.

it wasnt a very long drive from the restaurant-by-the-pier to the old hotel. in the car, they were playing one of their special CD’s. sappy. but hey, sweet, right? he couldnt see that she was smiling for she had rested her head on his left shoulder, nestled it against his neck and collar bone. he was calm, relaxed, leaning back in his seat. he had one hand steering the wheel. his other arm was around her shoulders, left there long after he had pulled her near. it was a small gesture. but in it was a moment. and in that, happiness.

i’m blogging on my dad’s laptop. mine can connect to the internet but my explorer keeps on closing on me, leaving me only MSN whenever i’m online  0_o  urgh. idiotic.

if you dont already know, i’m in Singapore. i’m on a ho-li-daaaaay!!! i’m here to plllaaaaaay!! come play with me!

i arrived on sunday on a Qantas flight with a faulty inflight entertainment system. so not funny ok.

the past two days have been filled with movies, playing with my siblings, tennis, reading books, stalking blogs (dear friends (and people i’ve never met), you have all been read), cooking (and eating), visiting my grandparents and one brekky date with Henry. i’m really looking forward to meeting up with more friends! and Mia’s dropping by SG en route to HK!  =)  i feel like a kid on a school break.

i’ve taken to journal-ing like i did as a child and am thinking that it might curtail my drive to blog… hmmmn.

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ok. maybe not really like a kid on a school break. i do have a couple of errands to run. there are things to get for people back in Ozland–i have specific items in mind. but that only means… shopping! i loike! plus i need to get me a new notebook and mobile.

and then there are all the logistics with regards to moving to Adelaide to think about (and hopefully act on). it should be making me worried at the very least but as usual, i have no sense of urgency whatsoever. i dont suspect i will till almost the very last minute when the possibility of having to go there on foot (from Vic, preferably. from SG, i’d have to row a boat.) and content with a (large) cardboard box for accommodation becomes evident.

yesterday i asked Henry to warn me what i’m getting into. he said it’s hard work but if i’ve got the heart for it, i’ll enjoy it immensely. i just pray that i’ll make a good one  =)   ok. with the heart for it. and lungs. and kidneys. and liver. and spleen. and stomach. and brain. oh God, i better have the brains…

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saturday the 17th to sunday the 25th: the final week i spent in melbourne before flying here was the best of my life.

there.

i’m not elaborating (to the public).

i was dying to say that in my blog although i’ve already told The Boy  =)  hey, when are u gonna send over your new song?

cant be stuffed to post the 673586 pictures. but this one’s my absolute fave  =) 

my family left on thursday afternoon but it feels like so long ago. i miss them. pretty badly. ok, terribly. at the airport, Mama was the last one to go through the gates. dont know why it was so hard to let go of her hand… long after she had gone in, i was still standing there. rooted. crying. like a small child whose mummy had gone away leaving her behind, confused.

when i walked back to ridwan, his mum and hikmah’s dad (who were all not even aware that my family had already gone thru the gates, what with all the rush) my eyes were still red and wet… i’m such a baby  =P

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i bought two books on Wednesday. i just have to share that piece of info coz i’m so happy with my purchases! i finished one on friday morning… and am in the middle of the second one. i love it! it’s a gorgeous read, people. give it a shot.

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as i sit and chat with ridwan’s mum, i realise i’m still getting used to the idea that i’ll be calling her Mama too. it’s a bit much for my sluggish brain, really–how can i have two Mama’s?

alhamdulillah, she’s accepted me with open arms… and i’m definitely grateful for her boy.

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i think i stink. i’m looking forward to a luxurious shower after this… had a really long day.

but a really good one–all the elements were in sync 

my family arrived yesterday. ridwan and i went to pick them up at the airport. so far so good, just hectic for me. my grandparents, parents and siblings, meanwhile are really loving the fresh air, food and gorgeous sunshine  =)  baguslah. alhamdulillah.

we’re driving up to Adelaide tomorrow to look look see see. my parents insists. sigh.

this morning i woke up needing no further convincing that i am stressed. i dreamt that my 43-year-old uncle had his ear pierced and was showing it off to us. the "best" part about the dream was that Paris Hilton (what the?!) was in it and i, nur elia mohamed suada, was attracted to her (eeeewww!).

the attraction was mutual (eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!).

so we decided to go to her car and make out (!!!?????)

i was so grossed out i swear i was willing myself to wake up. this is just wrong man…

today. is not the day to mess with me. today, my friends, i am in one of Those Moods.

my family (along with my grandparents tau!) is arriving at melbourne airport tomorrow afternoon. my dad sent me an sms at 1 am this morning: We will be arriving in Melbourne on Thursday at 1645hrs. BADUT kannnnn??????

abih pagi ni bila i tengah siap nak pergi kerja (it would have been very early in the morning in S’pore, therefore) my parents telefon dua kali. memang excited nak datang holiday. iye. cute lah tu.

but i am so anNOYed!

by all means come, but kasi lah warning betul2… tell in advance. now they’ve put me in a spot, coz they’ve spent thousands on 7 tickets but i’ve still got uni stuff and i’ve still got to go to work while they’re here. tapi sayang punya pasal i’ll still be happy when they arrive and happy to have them here… cuma definitely i’ll be so serba-salah most of the time: mana nak layan, mana nak buat kerja.

urgh! plus skarang ni saya tengah PMS. dah satu minggu PMS.

and i need to get new deodorant! the last one i got was a reasonably-sized bottle of something watermelon inspired and it’s not showing signs of running out. frankly, i’m sick of smelling like a fruit.

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at least work today was gooooood. i’m besotted with my nine-year-old patient, a shy, sweet, well-mannered, intelligent blue-eyed little boy. he was referred to the department coz his grandma had some concerns but there’s nothing for her to worry about  =)  he’s a-okay. if they keep on giving me cases like this, i’d be so happy. but that defeats the whole purpose in a way, coz working in the health sector, you become more attuned to picking up the abnormalities than its antithesis. it’s the job.

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last night i went to Mami Sakinah’s house with hikmah and her parents. the invitation was for dinner actually, but we stayed till one plus. we were the last ones to leave.

i was genuinely happy. and so was hikmah, right hikmah? pasal buat kekawan baru! i know, i must sound so kental kan? macamlah dulu kecik sekolah takde orang nak kawan. (yes, i had friends ok.) it just felt good to have a chat with Malay Singaporeans in our age group again. no, i’m not being racist. it’s just a sense of feeling at home, know what i mean? come to think of it, the last time we had that vibe (not counting me going back to S’pore for 3 weeks in Sept) was when the Sekels were here.

by the way, just to pass on a message: anyone in Melbourne want tickets to watch Greenday? i know someone who has two and wants to sell them off. if you’re nice he’ll give them to you!

hee… at least this one’s entertainment eh?

there are 2 people who come to mind when i think John Legend: Tiara (dimana dikau??!! lama tak dengar khabar cek kak oooiiii…!) and Ridwan.

Ordinary People.asx
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badut  :o\

friendster still sends notification emails.

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i actually cried for at least a good five minutes coz cedric died!!! i wasnt expecting that at all since i havent read a single book in the series. like i’ve mentioned before, my plan is to read them all! at one long shot! one after another!  =)  i’m honestly looking forward to that y’all…

robert pattinson (is that his name?) who plays cedric looks like richard delvallee! with the naturally rouged cheeks and tall physique and deep eyes and warm smile… back in those days when i was 15 going on 16 and all dreamy with infatuation. ohmigawd. ah well. all part of growing up. tapi memang sweeeet. fromt he malu2 crushing on each other to the day at Disneyland, Paris to the year-long long-distance relationship that ensued. we did love each other alright, but it was the innocent, giddy, sincere love of children. it was never meant to be anything more than a charming phase in my youth.

ok. back to the movie! so. the credits were rolling and we saw the name Ralph Fiennes! which of course made us realize that he was playing the role of Tom Riddle… only because the resemblance of the dark lord to the English patient is soooo uncanny. hehe. and then! somehow Mia and i found ourselves trying to recall his brother’s name. ronald, robert, matthew… and other equally bad and blind guesses were produced. finally it was dimas who came to our rescue–joseph!

i say ralph is more delectable. cooler name too.

anyway, for the record, Azkaban is still my fav movie adaptation out of the four thus far.

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hikmah’s parents are here. hehe… habis! tembam lah pipi elia lagi! baruuuu lose a bit of weight. dear hikmah’s graduating next week! yay! congrats hun! so exciting tau… my convo will be next apr/may insya Allaah.

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eh! i think friendster doesnt send those notification emails anymore! i get embarassed when i blog (too much) and then those emails get sent out. seriously, i do! i really hope they’ve stopped doing that and it’s not just a temporary glitch in the system.

but of course, if this is for real, that might just mean that i’m gonna be spending even more time blogging than i would otherwise. hmn. tsk tsk. ’tis not healthy. i need to find a real hobby, people.

i left off my last post in "mid-thought" actually. had all these… stuff going through my brain but just werent ready to be articulated yet (till right about now). maybe it’s the effect of the end of the year. maybe it’s the realisation that i’m gonna have a fresh new exciting beautiful start next year (AMEEN! INSYA ALLAH!!!) or maybe, me being me, it could just be the weather, eh? but indeed i am. in one of those pensive pensive moods… thinking about Life. ye lah, specifically My Life since it’s my blog.

if, in line with Piaget’s theory of child intellectual development, there were a Formal Operational Stage of thought, mine would be when i was turning 12 (long sentence to prove a point). incidentally, my memories before that are of a dreamlike quality. i remember simple childhood joys and frustrations in the backdrop of muddled scenes. but those that came after, they have a clarity of thought, emotion and detail.

i went to good schools (loved all three of them!), was surrounded by good company, was given so much room to grow. yup, i must sound like a sap right now but what i am today, i owe, in part to my schools! i owe a huger part of it to my parents and family. everyone would say that, kan? but mine are great. not because they are mine. but because they are  =)  add to that the experiences i had teaching, working, and then coming here and experiencing All This… i am so thankful, GOD.

so what lies ahead? it’s not complicated, really.

there’s Career. no mate, the studying aint done yet so i’ll still be a destitute uni student for a bit more. but God willing, soon i’ll be of service to the community  =)  and soon, i’ll earn. proper. for the necessities of life. for my children. for my family. above all, it all comes down to making my parents proud and at ease.

there’s Love. ridwan. ridwan. ridwan. ridwan arifin hasibuan. =) almost six years have passed since we had That Talk at Holland Village Burger King. ah, the sweetness and naivety of young love. we have been through a lot, that’s not even an exaggeration. the sunsets and flowers and romantic love songs are still there, but so are the dishes in the sink, farts and bad moods–all added into the formula equating to two people who really truly do love and are committed to each other. kids will make it so complete! i admit, i do look at kids and find my heart longing and wondering when… when? tapi belum masanya, elia kena sabar dulu!

and that, at the end of the day, is The Big Picture i see of my future.

excited.

ok. can stop the contemplations now. Harry Potter, here i come.

(i am becoming more of a compulsive blogger as the days pass. this is darn addictive. macamlah orang sooo interested nak baca tiap2 hari eh? hehe. but i honestly enjoy posting. somehow.)

i just sat for The Acclaimed Mid Semester Exam, which didnt go too bad, alhamdulillah. i’m in the library now. dont really wanna walk home in the rain. although it’s a nice rain to walk in. thunderstorms are gorgeous… if u’re all nicely warm and wrapped up in a blanket enjoying it through the window with a book in your lap and hot tea on the sill. but to walk in, i vote softly pelting drizzles. i know, i spend way too much time romanticizing intellectualizing the weather.

what i understood was that i was gonna be given my supp essay question at the end of the exam. but my prof said she’ll email it to me on Monday. which means! i get to enjoy this weekend guiltless! it’s been ages! pity The Boy’s been called to work after all. not that i think i’d actually start on the assignment before Monday. but if i had the question and thus had the choice to do it, it’ll be my fault if i don’t =)  know what i mean? on the other hand, in a way i cant wait to get started on it and submit it. so then, i’ll receive my results. so then, i can post it off to adelaide. so then, i can put this semester to a close. finally.

i dont know how many times hikmah and i have sighed to ourselves (and each other) about how crazy this year has been. we wouldnt give up the experiences and lessons of our time in Melbourne for anything! but this year, the linear learning curve has turned exponential. there were times when we (or at least i certainly did) worried if it were possible to even get through it all. but hey, cliched as it is, what doesnt kill you really does make you stronger.

and more thankful.

and humble.

and aware.

and compassionate.                        Insya Allaah.

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